I am who I am

There is so much to say that I don't even know where to begin. Know this.

I am who I am. I believe what I believe. You can love me or you can leave me. It is that simple.

"I believe in mysteries and miracles and the magic of a new day. I believe in angels and natural wonders and the beauty inside people. I believe in rainbows and happy endings and dreams come true." ~Unknown

To sit there and say that I am a fool because I believe in things that cannot be seen is tantamount to ignorance. We can not see the air we breathe. We can not see another's voice. One can not see love. One can not see laughter. One can not see pain. Are these things any less real?

Science has proven that everything in this world consists of energy. You can not see the sub-atomic particles that are the foundation of our phyisical world. Does that mean they do not exist?

If the great minds of our time subscribed to this theory that in order for something to be real, it must first be seen, where would we be today? We would be without lights, without medicine, without transportation. We would still be cavemen pleased that we had fire and the wheel. Our world is the way that it is because every day throughout human existence, great people decided to believe first. Edison knew that electricity could be harnessed not because he had seen it done but because he believed it to be so. Would you have thought him a fool?

Alternative forms of healing are being taught in major institutions all across the world. And hospitals everywhere are embracing these same methods and incorporating them with Western ideologies, not because they are trying to lead the sheep to the pits of ignorance, but because these methods are being proven to be real, both by science and by human experience, every day. Even the power of prayer is gaining indisuptable evidence of its effectiveness.

And some things will always go beyond measure. We as a people may never prove the existence of God. We may never be able to define the soul. There may never be glasses that allow us to see spirits or auras or invisible energy. But there will always be believers.

I am a believer. It is part of who I am.

Judgement

I feel that it is unwise for you to think us foolish simply because we believe in a different reality. This suit of judgement suits you not. It is the wrong color for your creamy complexion and it wreaks of decades of moth balls. Not too mention that it is far too small for your innate grandness.

Why do we threaten you? Does our view of the world endanger your reality or encroach upon your concrete foundation? I think not. We keep the eaves of our evolutionary thought model carefully trimmed so that passers-by need not be offended lest they want to walk in our garden and inhale the scent of a limitless life.

If you choose to live confined by the boundaries of your own mind, that is your choice. We, however, rejoice in the freedom received when we dare to conceive of our infinite power. The wisdom of the hour is simply this...

Bliss is the key. Release us from your judgements for even if they serve you, they dishonor our spirit. Hear it loud and clear. The message that I speak. There is no place for judgement in a house of love.

In the Gap

In the gap I am
In the gap I stand

Create without hesitation

Question not your surroundings
For this is home
Loneliness lost when you slipped through the crack

We are here
Fear remained outside the door

No floor, no walls, no halls

Just open space

You erased your story when you came here today
Stay with us
For this is where Truth lives

Honor My Self

So today I am trying to figure out what it means to honor my self. How do I place myself and my needs first above all others? I mean, is it even possible when you're a wife and a mother of three? On one level, I ask "how is it possible to do anything but?" How can you truly be present in your life if you don't fulfill your own needs first?



But when I look at it, I'm not sure I can identify many times when I've placed myself first. Not just in the context of marriage and motherhood, but over the course of my whole life. Self-love, self-respect and self-worth were simply not taught to me as a child.

Know that I love myself. I am a fabulous being filled with Love and Light. I am open, honest, empathetic, non-judgemental (although this is an area that I work on a lot), creative, expressive, intelligent, compassionate, forgiving, nurturing, supportive and I could go on. But I am questioning to what degree I practice self-love. I am beginning to understand that the two are not one and the same. It is possible to love oneself but to disregard oneself at the same time.

And it's interesting, looking back over this list of traits that I proudly embody. Many of them seem contradictory to this "self-centered" mentality. Empathy, forgiveness, nurture, compassion... aren't these all "other-centered"? I do understand though that in order to be of service to others, I must nurture my own Spirit and my connection to Source. And I do understand that in this area, I often fall short. I believe though that honoring oneself goes deeper than nurturing ones own Spirit.

I believe I can honor myself by asking for what I need from the Universe and those that are in my life. I can honor myself by setting aside time for me each and every day and making it known that time is my time. I can honor myself by stopping throughout my day and asking myself what I need at that moment without first stopping to think how everyone else will feel about it. And I can honor myself by speaking my Truth, quietly and clearly, but without compromise. I can honor myself by being me and allowing you to be you, each a reflection to provide the other with opportunities for growth.

And then this is where I get lost again. Because it leads me back to the thought that you are me and I am you. We are truly One. So then, by honoring you am I not honoring me in the process? And I guess the question must then become what thought/action/words/deed are born out of the greatest good for all.

So perhaps what I neecd to ask is not how to honor myself, but how to honor our Spirit, for that is the source of all right action.

Connected

I am often amazed at how hard I must work to be connected to my Spirit. How easy it is for my higher self to slumber for days, weeks and even months. Sometimes only awakening a handful of times over the course of a year. How can that be when Spirit is our true essence? It's almost like the cat that thinks its a dog. Or the child who is still wearing his Halloween costume in May. Perfectly content to be but a mirage of our true selves.

Maybe content is not the right way to put it. That would imply that I don't feel as if something is missing when I've turned the volume down so low that I must strain to hear the whisper of my Higher Self. And yet even though I know that life is better when I am whole, I still so often live from a fraction. Retraction into the mental and physical planes, allowing myself to be disconnected.

How strange that it takes so much work to be what I already am- a spiritual being on a human journey. Seriously. When a horse is carrying a rider through the woods, does he forget that he's a horse. Does he think he is the rider? Or does he become the trail? Being one with the world around you is one thing. But forgetting that you exist is another entirely.

And it's not that I don't want to be connected. And it's not that I don't want to be guided by Spirit in everything I do. It's just that in the moments of daily life, when I'm bogged down by my body and held hostage by my mind, I can't seem to remember to turn on the Light. So I'm writing this as a reminder to myself, and perhaps to you too if you empathize with my plight, that it is a whole lot easier to see and move when the lights are on.

Stop fumbling around in the dark, groping for what you think might be there. Instead, turn on the light of your Spirit and see how the illumination can change your whole world.