Honor My Self

So today I am trying to figure out what it means to honor my self. How do I place myself and my needs first above all others? I mean, is it even possible when you're a wife and a mother of three? On one level, I ask "how is it possible to do anything but?" How can you truly be present in your life if you don't fulfill your own needs first?



But when I look at it, I'm not sure I can identify many times when I've placed myself first. Not just in the context of marriage and motherhood, but over the course of my whole life. Self-love, self-respect and self-worth were simply not taught to me as a child.

Know that I love myself. I am a fabulous being filled with Love and Light. I am open, honest, empathetic, non-judgemental (although this is an area that I work on a lot), creative, expressive, intelligent, compassionate, forgiving, nurturing, supportive and I could go on. But I am questioning to what degree I practice self-love. I am beginning to understand that the two are not one and the same. It is possible to love oneself but to disregard oneself at the same time.

And it's interesting, looking back over this list of traits that I proudly embody. Many of them seem contradictory to this "self-centered" mentality. Empathy, forgiveness, nurture, compassion... aren't these all "other-centered"? I do understand though that in order to be of service to others, I must nurture my own Spirit and my connection to Source. And I do understand that in this area, I often fall short. I believe though that honoring oneself goes deeper than nurturing ones own Spirit.

I believe I can honor myself by asking for what I need from the Universe and those that are in my life. I can honor myself by setting aside time for me each and every day and making it known that time is my time. I can honor myself by stopping throughout my day and asking myself what I need at that moment without first stopping to think how everyone else will feel about it. And I can honor myself by speaking my Truth, quietly and clearly, but without compromise. I can honor myself by being me and allowing you to be you, each a reflection to provide the other with opportunities for growth.

And then this is where I get lost again. Because it leads me back to the thought that you are me and I am you. We are truly One. So then, by honoring you am I not honoring me in the process? And I guess the question must then become what thought/action/words/deed are born out of the greatest good for all.

So perhaps what I neecd to ask is not how to honor myself, but how to honor our Spirit, for that is the source of all right action.